Sakura's worst day ever
by Maya33
Summary: This is a funny story with Sakura constantly being the victim to cruel faiths at the hands of the Naruto boys and her mother who's obsessed with getting her a boyfriend. Warning it is NOT suitable for sakura fans or people who won't take the joke


**Title: Sakura's worst day ever**

**Rated: K+ for certain few foul words throughout the story**

**Summary: Well i think the title says it all but fair warning this story isn't suitable for Sakura fans or people who can't take a joke so no threats. I don't want to start fearing that someone will kill me in my sleep lol well other than that enjoy**

**'thinking'**

Bam!

A vase was thrown at Yuriko Haruno who quickly dodged it and it hit the wall.

"Come on sweety you've become a beautiful lady but you need a boyfriend, even the always-shy-Hinata and tomboyish-Tenten got dates. I'm getting tired of all the gossips going on about you. I can't even step inside the grocer shop nowadays without the always-noisy shop going dead silent" Yuriko tried consoling her stubborn daughter.

Sakura screamed at her mother "Like I care what those old GEEZERS think!!" she purposefully emphasized the geezer part.

"Now, now sweety please _try_ to understand they-"

"Just tell 'em to fuc-" But before Sakura could finish in the blink of an eye her mother had already thrown a soup the size of a meteor in Sakura's mouth "Go wash your mouth off with soup, young lady. I can't believe you nearly said that!" than she marched off to Sakura and with a deadly glint in her eyes she whispered in the cherry blossom's ear "Can't risk you blowing your chance with any of those handsome boys out there because of that foul mouth of yours"

Yuriko smirked at the closed door "Apparently Naruto-kun and some other boys decided to eavesdrop on our little conversation"

Upon hearing this the spies that had their ears glued to the door left leaving nothing but a trail of clouds behind. Well nearly everyone. When Naruto heard this he stood there blinking wondering how she knew, than he looked at where the others where and saw only clouds by now several question marks could be seen above his head. Than he decided to get back to listening when he noticed something different.

The once closed door was now open with the door barely hanging on the broken hinges and an overly-beyond-pissed-off Sakura stood there holding a fist the size of a boulder. "Shannaro!"

**BAM!!**

**WHAM!!**

**PAH!!**

The impact of the punch was too strong that when Naruto's back hit the wall opposite him a huge hole was made which sent him flying from the corridor through another room and since Sakura lived in a flat that corridor happened to separate her home from her other neighbours.

A loud shriek was heard.

The now bleeding blonde's head felt as if it was going to explode and when he looked to where the feminine shriek came from his eyes bulged out of their sockets, his jaw dropped to the ground and an enormous nosebleed could be seen.

There on a bed that looked like it had seen the great ninja war and back laid a half naked woman who was trying to hide behind a man that had just as little dignity left as she. Keyword trying. He was busy trying to find where they tossed the blanket.

Lotions and other beauty products made their way at the poor Naruto who was still glued to the spot.

Kiba who was one of the spies decided to help Naruto out so he grabbed him like a stuffed toy with the insides torn open and made a run for it and it was a good thing he did because Sakura was quickly on their tail.

Before the pink haired monster gave chase to her prey she poked her head from the corridor through the hole Naruto made and she winked at the unlucky couple with a huge grin plastered on her scary features "So you FINALLY decided to get your head out of porn books and lived for a while" (A/N anyone guessed who this is?)

She quickly made a run for it before she lost Naruto and Kiba but as she ran she yelled back "Great catch …Kakashi-sensei" said shinobi was already planning death traps for both his ex-students.

* * *

**With the boys**

Kiba came running to their little hiding place knowing Sakura would sense them soon if they don't keep moving. He quickly dropped the baka hanging lifelessly on his right palm. That's when he noticed the blonde was out of it. Kiba sighed and said a little loudly "Wakey! Wakey!"

He hit Naruto's head to wake him up but he didn't seem to notice and just snored. Ok he was COMPLETELY out of it. The dog shinobi's right eye twitched and he punched the baka's head more forcefully this time but all that caused was for him to snore louder making a vein bulge on Kiba's forehead and losing all that was left of his patience but just as he was about to deliver a deadly punch that would have led into the blonde's brains pouring out onto the floor both of his hands were stopped. Akamaru was biting his right palm and the other was held back by some insects.

As those three got themselves worked up over nothing someone said "Hmph! You better come up with something brainiac or has dating my sister left that giant brain of yours into haywire"

"Troublesome…"

"Oh I'll show ya troublesome after I punch a hole through your head!" the pink haired monster screeched at her prey.

"Well any bright ideas genius" the puppeteer scoffed.

"Yeah. Run!" For once in his life the usual aloof lazy expression was replaced with another emotion. Fear.

"Every man for himself! Believe it!!" Naruto who had just woken up yelled. Being her personal punching bag all these years tend to that to a poor guy.

Neji tried to make her stop chasing them by blocking a few of her chakra points but she was persistent and he didn't want to chance hitting any vital organs so he stopped but thankfully Shino unleashed some bugs and said in his mysterious voice "This shall hold her off for a while it will give us enough time to get away"

"YUCK! I hate BEETLES!!"

And they left trying to ignore the very colorful curses that ought to be written in one of Jiraiya's novels well except Choji who was munching away on a banana.

After Sakura by some miracle managed to make her way to the broom closet she sprayed some bug repellent and sent the beetles crying back to their master half dead "That did it! eeew I'll never be able to unsee this!" than she tried searching for their chakra, found them and headied their way determined to put them in a world of pain.

As the guys were running Naruto felt something on his head, tripped on his own feet and screamed "A pigeon pooped on my head!"

"I hate to tell you this my youthful friend but it's impossible since we're not even outside" Lee tried to sound politely as he helped his friend up.

Shino picked up what was on the blonde's head while the other screeched incoherent nonsense.

"It seems Sakura killed off some of my beetles" the bug shinobi said as he showed the blonde what was on his head.

When Neji heard this he immediately activated the byakugan and looked for said kunoichi "Sakura is already on our trail"

"Whaa? Already?!" Naruto stumbled but managed to stay on his feet this time. A nod came from Neji and they all quickened their pace.

Heavy breathing. "Phew" Sakura said as she wiped a little sweat from her enormous forehead and continued "I really should train more often" than she saw them and sped up.

"Choji if you don't run faster she's going to get you for sure" Shikamaru warned his friend.

Choji stopped a bit hands on knees trying to catch his breath making Kiba curse "Shit" and making Kankurou comment "Are all leaf shinobi this weak? My sister MUST be losing it"

Shikamaru ignored the supposed to be bruise to the ego and looked around that's when he spotted a lady about to enter her house with a food trolley filled with cakes "I got an idea but that troublemsome woman won't like it" and he smirked at the very thought.

"Lee I need you to distract the woman" Shikamaru informed him.

"How?"

"Be yourself" Kankurou smirked already understanding what Shikamaru is planning.

* * *

"Great they stopped I'm going to get them this time for sure" Sakura smirked.

* * *

"Excuse me youthful ma'am I am the Handsome Devil of the Hidden Leaf Village! My name is Rock Lee!-" Lee blabbered on and on whilst the woman tried VERY hard not to catch some Z's and at least _try_ to see what he needs or at least why he's even talking to her.

As Lee distracted the lady Shino sent more of his insects to hold off Sakura but since she had the repellent it didn't last long but a few minutes was all they needed. Quickly Choji grabbed the biggest cake off the food trolley, he himself got on the trolley and put the huge cake on his lap and chowed down. Shikamaru coughed giving the signal to Lee that they're ready to go.

"Well nice talking to you youthful ma'am but now I must get going" he gave her one of his trademark smiles with the 'glowing' teeth and the thumbs up than he quickly grabbed the handles of the food trolley and with one last scream of **"YOUTH!"** he made a run for it with Choji on the food trolley and the others trailing behind.

"My cakes!" the lady exclaimed and started waving her purse back and fourth in exasperation and just as Sakura ran past her she received a painful hit to the head with the purse.

"Geez woman what have you stuffed in that thing! Boulders!" Sakura yelled with all her might, holding her fist and doing her best to calm down and actually _leave _the bitch that dared to hit her but Sakura knew that if she stopped to beat the woman to a bloody pulp than she'll lose track of her original prey especially since now Choji is no longer slowing them down 'Damn that Shikamaru!'.

* * *

The crazed lunatics erm shinobi were running for their lives. Neji sighed "What was I thinking? Coming along on this …this ..th-" the byakugan user growled "Great now I sound like my cousin, Hinata when she's talking to Naruto"

"Well it's not a much different reason than your cousin's, Neji" Lee said obviously having no problem running while pushing Choji's weight, literally.

Lee continued with a 'glowing' smile "Also the reason you came to spy with us was because you want to know who our blooming with joy and happiness Tenten is dating and Sakura's mother seems to know" when Neji heard this he glared at Lee so intensely that if looks really could kill, Lee would be a billion times dead already.

* * *

As they were running they made passed a hallway that lead to an over-crowded kitchen. People and chefs all of the sort were there holding some kind of tray filled with food but the shinobi didn't have time for this so they just tried to push past all of them and still run.

The door to the kitchen burst open with the hinges rooted off and there stood Sakura with a victorious evil grin on her face as if she just got her greatest present.

They ran as fast as they could but Lee seemed to be having problems because since the trolley was big it was a bit harder to get passed the chefs that way but somehow he managed to make it but as he was turning the corner the trolley with Choji on top eating a cake the trolley started swaying making Choji lose hold of the enormous for mere seconds and as that happened an elderly chef got her head out of the oven and stood up hitting Choji's cake right in the face.

There was no time for this so Lee moved passed her with the trolley with Choji yelling at the top of his lungs "My cake!" making 'Konoha's green devil''s ears bleed.

The impact of the trolley grazing the cook was more than enough to make the elderly chef stumble and accidentally fall on the still open oven wit ha cake covered face.

A loud shriek was heard as Sakura passed through all of the chefs.

The chef with the cooked butt still had the cake in her head so she couldn't see but she heard someone approaching her and thought it was the same culprit so she quickly felt around the tabled and hid her trusty rolling pin behind her back ready to take revenge.

As Sakura moved passed all of her obstacles she saw an elderly chef that didn't look in the best of conditions so she walked to her ready to ask the chef if she was alright when suddenly out of nowhere she was hit with a rolling pin solid on the head making her to fall to her knees and clutch her aching head in pain.

The chef wiped some of the cake from her eyes and looked at the culprit only. Only. It was a pink haired girl not the punks "Oops I think I hit the wrong person" she said dumbly making Sakura yell "Ya think!!"

* * *

"The way we're heading is a dead end" the byakugan user continued.

"Well what exactly is there up ahead?" Shikamaru inquired.

Lee yelled "May our Youth shine!" droning out Neji's reply.

"I got a plan listen up everyone"

* * *

"Finally…" breath "…I…" huge breath "…reached them" Sakura managed to choke out between breaths.

"The room that's up ahead is the training room and exactly opposite the door there's an open window which we'll jump through" Neji informed them "Also as soon as you open the door there's a few steps so be careful while running"

Neji opened the door and ran inside with the others following behind, Lee was the last one to come in with Choji on the trolley not because he was tired but Shikamaru told him to stay last on purpose and as Lee got down the stairs Choji dropped the banana peel on the steps leading to the training room.

Sakura angrily ran inside but didn't notice the stairs so she stumbled a bit but she would have managed to balanced herself if her foot didn't make contact with the banana peel. She glided down the stairs as if she's skating on ice.

When Shikamaru saw that Sakura had made it to halfway the room he nodded towards Kankurou who quickly used his chakra strings to move a punching bag in Sakura's way making her run into it head first.

Than Choji got off the trolley, grabbed a cake and left the trolley in the corner as he followed the rest out the window leaving the kunoichi seeing stars in the middle of the training room.

The pink haired monster had just about had it and quickly made a run for it out the window in hopes of not letting them get away but as soon as she dashed out the window the first thing she noticed or not noticed was her prey instead of them she saw greenery, flowers and a pool. A pool which she was falling into right now.

"Aaaahhh!" she yelled.

Sakura hit the waters with a big splash but as soon as she came up for air she wished she didn't because on the wall exactly outside the window she just jumped through stood her prey all hanging on the walls using chakra. A humongous vein could be seen on her huge forehead right now after she noticed she's been had.

Apparently that was Shikamaru's true intention leading her there at the training room on purpose. Choji's trick with the banana was to lead her directly to the hit Kankurou gave her with the punching and at the speed she was going on the banana it was nearly impossible to dodge. But that was just a diversion to make Sakura so angry that it would drive her over the edge and destroy what little rational thinking she had left so when they jumped out of the window it would be inevitable that she fall for the plan. Literally.

While hanging on the wall Kiba laughed his ass off and Akamaru woofed in agreement.

Naruto also thought it was funny but he still felt sorry for his old teammate "Maybe we've gone too far" he doubted.

"My sweet sweet Cherry blossom even in this predicament she still shines! So much youth it's overwhelming" as Lee was saying this rivers of tears were flowing down his face.

Choji stopped munching for a couple of seconds to comment "Shines? Well of course she is she's soaked through and through, the sunrays are just hitting the water on her making her 'shine'" and with that said he went back to aggressively munching on the poor cake he snatched earlier.

* * *

Gaara walked in the direction someone told him Kanukurou would be at. All three siblings came to Konoha with individual reasons of their own. Gaara had some political matters to discuss with the Hokage. Temari wanted to come see Shikamaru and Kankurou came to 'babysit' as he calls it since he still can't get over the fact that his sister is seeing someone outside of their village well neither could but he doesn't go to the extremes unlike Kankurou.

So here he was the Kazekage following some child's direction in hopes of finding Kankurou before he does something drastic and kills the shadow user.

* * *

Sakura lost her temper **"SHANNARO!"** she punched the floor of the pool. With that single punch two sides of the pool which were on the opposite side of the impact hanged in the air making the pool look like a 'V'

Gaara came through the gates and saw a 'V' shaped pool "Well that's weird" he mumbled and walked forwards near the pink haired girl whom looked like was thirsting for further destruction.

She stomped off out of the pool if you can call it that since all the water now was anywhere outside the what used to be rectangular pool and hit the walls with all her might making everyone lose their balance and fall on top of eachother.

Shikamaru sighed under someone's foot "Troublesome woman"

"And I thought the water would cool her off" Kankurou muttered as he tried to get the baka off him and than he saw some red hair under. Under. The puppeteer erupted in laughter as he clearly saw the former shukaku host and Kazekage's hair sticking out from under Akamaru's butt "And I thought I had it bad. What are you doing here Gaara?"

"Shut up" the kazekage hissed as he tried to get the mangy mutt off him. Normally that would have been easy to move him with his sand but all his sand fell in a hoop in the water of the pool leaving the sand too heavy for the kazekage to lift so now he was as helpless as a newborn at the mercy of a stupid dog.

Yuriko, Sakura's mum got out of the house with a cup of tea in hand obviously about to go chill off in front of the pool when she saw her daughter left in a bundle with several leaf shinobi on top of her also a suna shinobi and the kazekage himself all on top of her poor daughter.

Yuriko placed on the most pathetic fake smile that even Sai himself could have done better and said "I know I told you to get a boyfriend sweety …but I only meant ONE not NINE!"

"W-w-wait it's NOT what it looks like!!!" Sakura screeched as she tried to get them off of her and stop her mum from misunderstanding the situation.

Jiraiya who stood a few feet away "and people call me a pervert" he said smugly with a giant grin that not even Tsunade herself could punch away.

"I give up" and with that Sakura dropped to the ground defeated.

**Please review!**


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